Since I last posted a few things have happened.
I got sick.I got better.In the middle I dragged myself to hospital and begged for mercy(actually i begged for drugs to stop the pain)Doc told me to go home.Has this ever happened to you?
After I survived my illness, I went away to the Caribbean for 10 days(as you do)
On the plane going out stood waiting for the loo, I got chatting to a nice lady.If I didn't know better I would swear she was working for the Antiguan Tourist Board.She loved the place so much this was the 10th visit.She l told me I will love it too.I told her I was thinking about my future , with a glint in her eye she said you will find the answers.Not sure I believed her but smiled and said ' Ok Luv,Il take your word for it.
Fast forward 12 days and I'm back home sat on my bed writing this. Soooooo did I find answers to questions I didn't know I had?Nah not really.Did I find out things about myself that I didn't know?Hell frigging YES.I won't go into the finer details now, maybe in the future when I'm ready to share.
What I will say is this.When I was driving home from Gatwick I ended up in Croydon (why do I always end up in Croydon, I try and stay on the motorway but panic when it says London/Deptford and choose London then end up in Croydon.I know you might say er google maps??battery dead so I had to depend on my inner travel directions)Driving through Croydon I stop at the lights and to my left, I see a John Lewis home dpt shop.I've never bought a thing from John Lewis but for some reason, next thing I'm parked in the carpark and doing a fast walk into the shop, trying my best not to part with 20quid for a diffuser thing.After feeling proud of myself of for saying no to implies shopping, I bought a coffee.It did take a lot of effort not to say '£2.70 for an americano?In Costa its £1.95', but I thought better not coz the guy serving me had the look to say 'Not today Darlin',If its Costa prices you want bleep off to bleeping Costa' So I smiled instead.
When I sat down with said expensive coffee, I felt this knot in my belly, you that feeling of nerves when you have to face something, someone?I had that feeling but the funny thing I don't need to face anyone, just myself.Put it this way I have shit to do.
When I say I have shit to do,I don't mean i have shit to do,I mean I have SHIT to do.
Thats it for now.